Just Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale
By Jonathan Nicholas, The Oregonian, November 26, 2004

You know why America is so great? Because no matter how wild, how wacky, how fake-reality-soaked and post-irony-drenched our culture gets, there's still room someplace for the little girl.

The little girl with a big heart.

And great teeth.

Set down that coffee, bub. Pull up a chair. Hearken to what happened to Mindy Burbano.

In 1996, the 28-year-old from Forest Grove was enjoying life -- well, sort of -- as a dental hygienist. One day, she found herself at the Oprah Winfrey show. Before the broadcast, a producer asked whether anyone in the audience had any special talent. Why, yes, as a matter of fact, Mindy could impersonate a rooster.

Oprah all but adopted Mindy, propelling her to 15 minutes of faux-feathered fame. Mindy was on the radio here, there, everywhere: more than 175 interviews in all. Her time may have been up, but our girl was in no mood to chicken out. She parlayed her celebrity into a hometown gig as an entertainment reporter for "Good Day Oregon" in Portland. That led to a brief stint with "Entertainment Tonight." Eventually, Mindy got hired by KTLA in Los Angeles, where she ruffled feathers by pioneering the role of sex goddess/anchor.

At a softball game she was spotted by producer Garry Marshall, who, apparently impressed by her swing, wrote a part for her (the gym teacher) in his movie "The Princess Diaries." Add movie star to that resume. No real surprise, then, that it was on TV one day that Mindy's rags-to-riches billionaire boyfriend, Glenn Stearns, dropped to one knee and asked her to marry him.

So, here we are, it's 2004 and mega-rich Mindy lives in a $12 million mansion. But still she wonders whether something is missing in her life. Which brings us to the rest of the story. The TBS network is about to launch America's hottest new reality show. Here's the concept: Gilligan's Island Redux! But instead of actors . . . wait for it . . . The castaways are real!! There's a real-life skipper, an actual first mate, a brilliant professor, an innocent farm girl and -- you knew this was coming, right -- a millionaire couple!!!

Enter Mindy and Steve.

Just how modern is this reworking? The Professor wears a Speedo. I'll be shocked -- shocked -- if Ginger doesn't lose her top. And Mary Ann's already amortizing her assets this month by getting naked in a national magazine.

Marking the 40th anniversary of the maiden voyage, "The Real Gilligan's Island" sets sail at 8 p.m. Tuesday.